


Joke

by extremesoft



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: A tiny speck of fluff maybe, Grinding, I Don't Even Know, Insufferable beating around the bush, Kissing, M/M, Sexual Content, Sort of a fake date, Swearing, resolving tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-06
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2019-03-14 16:12:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13593726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extremesoft/pseuds/extremesoft
Summary: Everything is an infuriating, never-ending joke, as always, as ithas always been.





	Joke

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t know what happened, this started out as your everyday nonsense festive fluff and then sort of got a life of its own.  
> (Inspired by the sofa video and the festive greeting video but not actually festive at all in itself, now that I think of it.)

They’ve had a long day. 

They’ve been surrounded by people for the whole time at the factory. Signing dozens and again dozens of autographs, posing relentlessly for countless pictures, shooting videos. They’ve been interviewed and they’ve interviewed each other; one moment they've been pondering the events of the past season at the most serious they can manage together, and then laughing their heads off at each other's joking the next.

They’re exhausted but cheerful all the same as they’re changing back to their more common attire from the exceedingly Christmassy outfits they’ve used in the last videos they’ve shot. Or given the chance to do so - Daniel has loudly announced that he likes his suit so much he would want to wear it straight until New Year’s Eve, and he’s still vaguely considering whether to actually keep it on for the rest of the day. Max has settled to rolling his eyes and chuckling at the notion, not liking the striking red garb given to him as much as Daniel’s blue one. Above the chance to get rid of blatant clothing, however, they cherish the chance to get a moment’s peace from the buzz, the cameras, the blinding and ever present spotlight. Whether they change or not.

"Insane", says Daniel while taking his jacket off and tossing it carelessly on a chair nearby. Max looks at him and smiles dryly, trying at the same time to find a way to pull his tie over his head without taking his cap off.  
"Yeah."  
"All this hassle, y' know... I mean, it's fun and all, but phew, absolutely insane- Gee, just take the damned cap off for once, you'll never get rid of the tie like that! Or d' you want me to help, perhaps? You and your caps, together forever", laughs Daniel as he glances at Max in the middle of a thought and quickly notices that the other is fighting a lost battle. Max shakes his head and does as told, revealing a flattened mop of light brown hair. The edge of the cap has left imprints on his temples.

"Your hair is decent enough, y' know, you wouldn't need to wear that all the time", says Daniel while sizing Max up and absent-mindedly fumbling the buttons of his shirt open. Max shrugs.  
"There's nothing special about it. I would actually say yours is nicer", he says and smirks. Daniel rolls his eyes, shrugs as well and raises his hands like in surrender.  
"Well, as I said earlier, I don't necessarily need to shower for like a week and I'm still a nine out of ten, but hey, I’d say you're still not _completely_ hopeless yourself.”  
Max laughs and briefly ruffles his hair. "Thanks, mate. Warms my heart."

Daniel grins, as always. He still has trouble concentrating on the shirt buttons. Thoughts in the light-hearted mind dart wildly from one place to another. Mainly from Max to shirt buttons to Max to holiday to Christmas to fishing to Max again.

"Just listen to us talk", he says as he finally gets the shirt off and tosses it on the chair as well, on top of the jacket. He slowly reaches for his t-shirt. "Jeepers. Here we are, two ‘modern-day gladiators’ as they always like to call us, casually complimenting each other's looks... Or hair, actually, but whatever. We're such idiots, you and I."  
Max chuckles and glances at Daniel. "Yeah. And not only that, we're also serenading each other and, you know, making up lovely greetings on each other's Christmas presents... Hugging and all that… Yeah. I would say we’re just an absolutely silly driver pair."

Max suddenly feels perplexed, as if he’s wandered somewhere where he quite shouldn’t. He pulls off a mischievous grin, as always, hoping it would hide his sudden bout of unresolved confusion from Daniel. But Daniel isn't better off himself, and the Aussie can't help swiftly biting his lip. _What now, dammit._ He laughs, again, hoping it would distract Max from _his_ own unresolved confusion.  
"Yeah, I'm... I'm a bit of a nutcase, in case you haven't noticed quite yet. I apologize. Or maybe not."

"If I remember correctly", says Max out of the blue, "you were singing about how you would want me to ask you out tonight, right?"  
He smiles cheekily, remembering of course the team’s Christmas party being held later on. Daniel's stomach does a somersault, but he manages to chuckle and roll his eyes again.  
"Nutcase, as mentioned. I don't want you to take on too much pressure from my... sillinessess. If that's a word. Whatever."  
But Max feels oddly persistent. "No no no, I mean, it was so touching and I was like 'okay, if that's what he's hoping from me, I guess I'm up for the challenge'. So yeah, why would I deny you the... uh, experience?"  
Daniel grins. "The Max Verstappen experience! Well that must be heck of a something."  
They both laugh and Max shakes his head, looking a bit embarrassed by his choice of word. "Errm, yeah. Maybe not the best word for it. But as I said, I'll accept the challenge. I like challenges. So, Daniel..."

He presents his outstretched hand to the Aussie in the most theatrical way he can manage. Daniel's heart speeds up right away, its beating suddenly ringing in his ears like cannonfire. _Why am I like this, I’ve poked the guy’s nipple in front of the cameras today, for fuck’s sake?_  
"Would you go out with me tonight?" 

_Did I just say that?_

Daniel lightly grabs the other's hand and acts exaggeratedly awestruck. "Oh, gosh! Sure! You'll take me to the canteen, right? I hear it's the best place in town and super romantic. And I also heard they’re having a Christmas party at the Red Bull Racing factory later tonight, and they say it'll be, like, super cool. They have actual racing drivers there and everything. We should definitely check that out."  
Max laughs, realizing at the same time how utterly flustered he in fact is. _Fuck._  
"We'll see what I come up with. But yeah, meet me here in five minutes, I'll just change my pants and shirt."  
"'Meet me here in five minutes...'", imitates Daniel, sniggering. "You sure know how to set the mood! Boy, ain't this night going to be something else."

Eventually Daniel decides he'll wear the festive garb for the night after all, insisting it's "at least some kind of a suit, y' know, you have to look decent when you’re going out, especially with a celebrity". Max rolls his eyes and tells Daniel he'd better not be disappointed by Max not keeping his suit on. He finishes changing in roughly five minutes as promised, and they head out together to get something that counts as a snack.

The verge of not joking anymore starts to shift closer.

Or maybe it just starts to shift more rapidly.

 

The party venue can’t really be described as anything else but typical. Long tables, dim lighting, essential decorations. Once alone for a moment, Max quickly sneaks in to the hall and nicks two little flowers from one of the ample yet tasteful arrangements on the serving tables before heading back outside to meet Daniel again.  
“Here’s the bunch of flowers”, he declares as Daniel emerges from the buzzing crowd. Daniel tilts his head, and Max chuckles a little nervously, like he’s actually worried about ruining an _actual date_ with his nonexistent preparation. “I know it’s probably not what’s expected, but I didn’t have the time to run to a flower shop. And to be honest, I don’t even know if there is a flower shop in Milton Keynes. But you said ‘flowers’, so... yeah.”  
Daniel giggles, takes the flowers presented to him and makes a big show of smelling them. “Thanks, mate, appreciate it. Aw. Nothing makes a guy feel more special than flowers stolen from an arrangement five meters away.”

Max laughs. As always. He doesn’t really know what else to do or say and can’t shake the feeling Daniel would’ve actually deserved a bit better.  
“I know. I’m such an expert in these things. But I’ll bring you proper flowers some other time. If you want.”  
Daniel grins warmly. “You’re too kind. Nah, these are alright. All part of the Max Verstappen experience, I guess.”  
Max smirks. “Yeah. You’d better be ready for even more disappointments.”

Endless selfies, mandatory fooling around on stage, routine questions, swarms of people. They’re used to it, of course, being the star runners of the team and pretty much of the evening as well, yet Max finds himself being surprisingly irritable about it all as the evening goes on and has to really concentrate on remembering the fact that _you’re seriously NOT on a date with Daniel, it’s the whole team’s Christmas party and you have duties here_. He’s trying so hard but failing even harder; and as he playfully tugs at Daniel’s tie while they’re on stage, as their eyes swiftly meet and Daniel grins at him, he realizes how much he’s actually wishing they could be somewhere else.

Alone.

_Shit._

And Daniel just smiles and straightens his tie, and finds himself wishing they could be somewhere else.

Alone.

_Oh Jesus, I’m fucked._

 

“So, Daniel. For tonight I thought I’d take you to this excellent dinner buffet”, jokes Max as they finally head to get food. “It’s obviously a bit crowded, as you can see, but you can eat as much as you like and you won’t have to pay for anything.”  
Daniel laughs heartily and Max can’t help gazing at him maybe a bit too long and too fondly for his own good. Again. _He looks really nice, how does he manage to look that nice even in that ridiculous suit…_  
“Ooooh, as much food as I can eat and you’re buying! You spoil me rotten, you really do”, giggles Daniel, acting smitten. “I’m startin' to think the Max Verstappen experience isn’t in fact at all bad.”

Max thanks all possible forces for the conveniently dim lighting. He’s blushing so hard he thinks he can hear his blood rush over all the noise of the party. “I’m glad you like it”, he says and grins. As always. “I mean, the flowers were maybe a bit of a disappointment, but I thought you like food more than flowers anyway, so I put a bit more emphasis on the eating part.”  
“Yeah, spot on. You read me like an open book nowadays, Maximus Decimus Meridius”, chuckles Daniel, carefully looking at the shining plates and utensils in order to avoid looking at Max too much. _He’s actually good at this. Jesus Christ he's so good he's making me go nuts. He even looks decent, I look like a complete jackass…_

_Hey whoa snap out of it, it's nothing and say something idiot he’ll catch on._

“Isn’t this the part where our hands should accidentally brush when we’re reaching for the same dish and then there’s, I dunno, sparks flying around, or whatever, and something sappy like that?” he jokes and regrets opening his big mouth immediately after doing it. _Good job on not sounding weird, stud, you’ll freak him out on his own thing-that-is-not-a-date-but-fucking-feels-like-one._  
“Why yes, it is, actually”, says Max, feeling so flushed he can hardly breathe properly. “Thank you for reminding me!” And he bumps his hand into Daniel’s very un-accidentally.  
“Oh! I’m terribly sorry.”  
“Gosh!" gasps Daniel. "It’s okay, I’ve got a feeling it’s destiny… And all sorts of crap like that.”  
They both giggle, now neither of them knowing what else to do or say. _He's so damn funny, I like it so much when he’s around…_

_Okay. Seriously. It’s a joke. It’s only a joke. It's always a joke._

And it goes on like that for the whole night. Hands touching and shoulders inevitably brushing all the time in the crowded space; jokes and jokingly said truths and myriad unsaid words being exchanged; Max tugging at Daniel's tie from time to time and catching himself wishing he could actually pull the other a bit closer; Daniel sniggering at Max's shenanigans and catching himself wishing he could let the other pull him a bit closer; unnamed tension building up, more rapidly than it's ever done; wishing the two could be somewhere else; everything is an infuriating, never-ending joke, as always, as it _has always been_.

 

"Phew", sighs Daniel.

It's late and the night has gotten to a point where the two have managed to sneak away and wander off to a quieter part of the building, just to catch their breath. After the downright chaos of the enormous gathering, they very much enjoy just strolling past the empty offices and listening to nothing but the monotonous whirr of the air-conditioning for a while. The corridors are fairly dark, only a couple of lights have been left on here and there to make sure no-one collides with a wall. Not that anyone should really even be there. But they’re there, somewhere else.

Alone.

"So, Daniel", starts Max as they slowly make their way to nowhere in particular, "how has the night been for you? Any good?"  
Daniel chuckles and looks at Max, and looking at Max makes him feel so strange he has to concentrate hard on not looking at his own shoes instead. “Aw, gee. What can one say about the Max Verstappen experience…”  
They both snigger, and Daniel shakes his head. “Nah, it’s been fun. It’s been terrific. So romantic. I mean, you really went the extra mile, got me flowers and piles of food and everything. What more could a simple guy like me want?”

The question is left hanging in the air, both men instantly thinking of the same answer to it but neither of them daring to spit it out. Or take action. Max has to practically squeeze out a laugh. He now wishes he’d drank more, to steady his nerves, to relax, to not constantly be all over the fucking place when he’s around Daniel; but at the same time he’s all too wary of possible consequences to let himself get wasted.  
“It’s nice to hear that I have not been a complete disappointment. But if we decide to see each other again”, he says and they both laugh, “I’ll take you to some quieter place, with less people. So we can talk. And I will bring you proper flowers. Personally I’m not at all satisfied with the ones I gave you. I have a reputation to protect, you know.”  
Daniel giggles and bumps Max on the shoulder. “You’re some charmer! Jeepers, you’re making me blush. No wonder you got ladies droolin’ all over you wherever you go. Probably gents as well.”  
“Haha, maybe.”

_I can’t breathe._

The air is thick with the tension they’re trying so hard not to pay attention to.

“Alrighty, stud”, starts Daniel and makes Max snigger. “If you actually were on a date tonight, y’ know, instead of messing around with your useless teammate…” Daniel’s legs are so numb he feels like tripping over any second, he keeps his hands deep in pockets to conceal how much they’re shaking, _what the fuck am I doing_ , “would this be the part where you, I dunno, kiss the girl goodnight, or whatever? I mean, it’s quiet and kinda dark, but not too much, and all that... Quite ideal for some sweet lovin’…”  
Max’s mouth dries. He shrugs and grins and wonders how much further he can push the boundaries before he breaks them and it’s not a joke anymore and he’s managed to make Daniel hate him.  
“I would say it’s… yeah, probably around this time”, he says and exaggeratedly looks at his watch, making Daniel laugh. “I don’t know about this being ‘ideal’, usually your workplace is maybe not so romantic, but otherwise it’s pretty good.”  
“Yeah, I hear ya.”

There’s a split second’s silence, and then Daniel hears himself talk yet again.  
“But y' know, as for the kissing business, and as we sort of touched on earlier, if you remember: I reckon we’re actually such idiots all the time, you and I, that the next _logical thing_ for us to do - or what everybody expects us to do - probably is that I just basically French you on the sofa next year."

He looks at Max completely deadpan, too serious, hoping that Max would still take it all as a joke; catching himself wishing he'd drank more, _waaaay_ more, so he could put all the blame for his _sillinesses_ on something else than himself, on something else than the nagging feeling there's something even weirder than usual going on between the teammates right now. Max can't concentrate on walking and feeling profoundly overwhelmed at the same time anymore, and he stops for a moment to look back at Daniel. Equally serious, cheeks reddened. The unbearably heavy silence in the corridor lasts for a brief moment and then shatters as they both laugh again. As always.  
"Yeah. I'm all prepared for that. To be honest, I wouldn’t expect anything less from you anymore. Lovely, lovely."

"I know I sound extremely weird right now, but I mean", Daniel continues while really not knowing why he still keeps talking, wondering how a person can feel so panicked yet so oddly - there's no way around it - _needy_ at the same time, "I actually feel like we're in a point in our, sort of, mutual silliness, or something like that, where I think we could literally smooch away on the sofa there, or whatever, and nobody would even look twice. Y' know, they'd probably just go 'oh gee, those two just keep getting more nuts by day' and continue with their everyday stuff like nothing's ever happened. We're really that hopeless, Max."  
_Way to go again, idiot. Now you sound even more like you want to kiss him and you're just giving him reasons why it's perfectly okay._

_Fuck. Oh fuck. I do want that._

Max manages a hesitant smile.  
"To be honest... uh. You’re not weird, or I would say you’re as weird as always, but you do sound a bit like you really want to kiss me, and now you're trying to give me reasons why it's perfectly okay and no big deal."

Daniel can't help freezing still for good. He looks at Max and tries to keep up the trademark cheeky smile, but he feels so numb he isn't actually sure if he can. _Jesus Christ I've done it now._ He's so panicked and fervent he can't function, so he just shrugs and maybe grins and says "nah, whatever" and shoves them right to the brink of not joking anymore.

Max gazes at Daniel and then looks away for a second, making Daniel want to yell in frustration and panic and want.

"Shit."

And with that they're over the edge as Max moves to wipe out the small distance between them, cups Daniel’s face with trembling hands and presses their lips together.

He’s been thinking about it for months on end now, more often than not, and it feels so desperately good to _finally_ kiss his idiot teammate that Max has to fight the urge to moan straight into his mouth; but he feels Daniel’s breath hitching, he feels Daniel not responding, and he doesn’t really want to open his eyes as he pulls back and thinks _oh fuck shit why did I have to_. Mortified, he gathers his faltering courage all the same and looks the Aussie straight in the eye. Daniel’s gaze is wild and confused and ebony black, his mouth hangs open; everything about him screams utter bewilderment and Max’s heart drops right to the floor and through.

_Okay. NOW I fucked up._

“I’m sor-“  
"No you're not."

Max doesn’t get any further in his needless apologies as Daniel remembers how to move again, pushes him back against the wall with indisputable force and kisses the panicking Dutch with such frenzy that this time it’s impossible for him to not groan. Max’s eyes close and mouth opens almost instinctively and it’s like he isn’t capable of breathing and kissing at the same time when he, _oh God_ , feels Daniel’s tongue against his own. Max's legs would give way any moment if Daniel didn’t press against him even more firmly, making Max moan into the kiss as it suddenly becomes very clear to him how aroused Daniel is, and how aroused he _himself_ is. He can't help briefly feeling ashamed, being so turned on by his teammate and having said teammate notice it so effortlessly, but at the same time he couldn't care less because having Daniel against him feels _so fucking good_. And apparently he makes Daniel feel something like that as well, so.

Daniel of course registers the effect he’s having on Max and shifts, moves, making sure to brush against him in the most teasing way possible, almost as if to say _alrighty, stud, what are you going to do about me?_ Suddenly getting to _finally_ kiss his idiot teammate is nowhere near enough; Daniel's mind is clouded by unleashed heat, the need for release, and he can't think of anything but how badly he wants Max to make him come. Somehow. It _has_ to be Max now, at last, after everything. No-one else. Daniel doesn’t yet dare to think if he’s actually wanted it for way longer than just the past few moments.

He pulls back from the kiss, gasping for air, head spinning, hoping. Max has succeeded in fumbling the few buttons of Daniel's jacket open despite trembling like hell; he leans to quickly catch Daniel's lips again and slides his hands underneath the garment, running them up and down his back, wanting to feel every inch of him and more. He tugs the hem of Daniel's shirt up so he can get his feverish fingers on his warm skin, and just getting to touch and hearing Daniel groan drives Max close to the edge. He's almost in a haze, the whole thing feeling like one of the many fantasies he's crafted in his head in countless hotel rooms; but it's real now and Daniel feels fiery and lean under his touch and _fuck_ if he's going to shatter this.

Daniel breaks from the kiss again and buries his face against Max's shoulder, panting, hands all over Max's waist and hips underneath his vest and shirt. He's still grinding against Max, almost not aware of doing so himself; shamelessly hard, the burning in his gut pooling and spreading. Max grunts grittily, grabs Daniel's rear and wedges his thigh between Daniel's legs, and Daniel gasps in surprise as well as pleasure.  
"Fuck, Max."

It's the most either of them has dared to say in minutes. Daniel's rutting against Max's thigh, his lips now against Max's neck, sloppily kissing it and biting his earlobe. Max feels the ragged breath on his skin, feels how hard the other is against him and _because of him_ , hears the needy groans in his ears, it's all almost enough already at this stage. He shifts and moves, and with every thrust Daniel makes he grinds against Max's bulge as well, making him almost whimper in heat and desperation. They're both so close, right on the verge; and Max cocks his hip and tightens his grasp on Daniel and manages to choke out "come, Daniel" in his ear.

And that's what it takes. Daniel comes hard against Max's thigh, stifling a roar by biting his shoulder, his whole body convulsing with the waves; and feeling and hearing Daniel come right against him tips Max over the precipice as well. He lets all air out of his lungs, his head falls on Daniel's shoulder and he has to wrap his arms around Daniel in order not to collapse. Daniel is shaking so violently he has to lean against Max with his whole body weight to not drop right to the floor himself. Max notices and tightens his grip. He would ask them to sit down if he could think clearly, but right now he can't bring himself to do either, think or speak.

They just stand there. Shaking, leaning against each other and against the wall, keeping each other upright, resting their heads against each other's shoulders; in complete silence except for their panting and the still monotonously whirring air-conditioning. Eyes closed, eventually settling to just listening to each other breathe.

They just stand there. Maybe only for a minute, maybe for a lifetime.

Suddenly Max feels Daniel's head move and the warm weight of it being lifted from his shoulder. He opens his eyes and somehow feels the need to brace himself for whatever is coming. Feeling a bit ashamed again, not being able to figure out exactly why - after all, he wasn't the only one being turned on by their teammate, what with Daniel quite apparently climaxing against him and all that. But as Daniel places a gentle hand on Max's cheek and lifts his chin, as he can't do anything but look into his warm, dark, almost black eyes, he can't help biting the inside of his lip. _Please don't hate me._

"We, uh..." Daniel starts hoarsely, and Max swallows thickly. _Oh fuck, here it comes._

Daniel tilts his head, still looking Max in the eye, serious but feeling the familiar grin tug at the corners of his mouth already. He doesn’t of course _love_ Max so much he doesn't want to scare him away, no, it’s nothing like that, but he just... _y’ know_ , really does care so much he doesn't want to do or say anything that would do that. And sure there’s going to be talking, and thinking, the inevitable aftermath. But later. At some point. He’s too elated for that now.

"We didn't use a condom", he whispers.

Max is fully prepared for anything from an unbearable silence to a lashing to a punch in the face to a painful eternity in Hell, but not this. Not for this. It takes a second for him to register that Daniel is actually _joking_ again. Then he catches on, inexplicable relief and… fondness shooting through him at the exact moment. _You lovable asshole._

"I thought that your ugly suit would be enough to prevent anything from happening, you know", says Max and makes Daniel chuckle softly; Max enjoys the warmth of it, and of Daniel. "But I guess I was wrong. Oh my God, I didn't remember you're still wearing that thing, to be honest."  
Daniel shrugs. "Told you. A nine out of ten anytime, in anything.” 

They both look like a mess. Sweaty, hair sticking in every direction, wet patches on their trousers, which in Daniel’s case is fairly amusing considering he’s still wearing the blue festive-themed shorts. And it’s Daniel who grimaces.  
“I, uh… Speaking of my stunning suit... D’ you think they’ll notice if I change pants?”  
It’s Max’s turn to shrug. “Well, I think they’ll notice, but on the other hand, they’ll notice something if you don’t change as well… But you could always say you spilled beer on your shorts.”  
“Look who’s talking”, says Daniel, snickering. Max blushes straight away, still not knowing whether to try and act like nothing’s just happened or not. But Daniel of course sees it and guesses perfectly right what’s going on; and he closes his eyes and leans to lightly kiss Max once more. Just to see if it still works, if it’s still real. As if to say _don't worry, idiot_. Max lets out a small content hum. And they both find they have surprisingly zero regrets. 

Daniel rests his forehead against Max’s.  
“Y' know, stud… If that’s what normally concludes the famous Max Verstappen experience”, he murmurs and manages - to his own satisfaction - to make Max both chuckle and blush even more, “then… yeah. Not at all bad, I reckon.”  
“Spiffing”, says Max, and they both laugh. As always.


End file.
